Monday, February 25, 2008

Hut Tour at the Bird

Ah yes, the Dirty Mutha Fukin Bird....  Over the years some of the more industrious and motivated locals have built various safety huts around the mountain.  Some are nothing more than a piece of visquine plastic draped over some upright tree limbs making a teepee-like structure.  Some are very elaborate featuring bench seating, views, extra papers if you need 'em, lost single skis in the ceiling, etc....  Anyway, on Sunday, as a really spring-like storm raged around us we decided to embark on a tour of as many of these huts as we could.  Here is our story....






Danky getting live on a cute little cat track enroute to our first stop

First stop on the Tour de Hut was one that I had never been to.  There used to be another one nearby but this one was new to me.  Teepee steez....

After a quick stop at the first teepee hut we ripped up to Mach Schnell to go to one of the biggest and best huts on the hill.  Here's Gorga gapping at the top of Schnell

Welcome to the HH Hut, you can take off your blindfold now

The HH Hut.  This place has been around for a few seasons, not sure who put it together but damn, nice work buddy!

Valet parking at the HH

Stadium style bench seating in the HH.  Enough room for all your homies and their homies too, and we were the only ones there.  I took a girl here once and when she saw it she said "Wow, you could totally have sex in here!"  Huh, really?  I hadn't thought of that....

Meeting of the Mindless, HH Hut

Blaze one Gorgs

Wow, it must have been cold, look at all that "condensation" in my breath

Peruvian Gulch is closed bitch, ya heard?

My first season out here I only had a chair pass so I rode the Gad Valley a lot.  These days I'm not a big fan of that zone, too many beaters.  But sometimes you gotta sacrifice.  Chair ride to the next stop on the tour with Al and Danky

Next stop on the tour, the Black Forest Snow Cave Hut.  Another one I've never been to but looks like whoever put this one together put in some major off-season work as well

Subterranean Black Forrest Hut.  Nice to get out of the storm and get your mind right.  This hut actually had empty explosives boxes for seating, pretty dope

Pick up your trash fuckface.

After a sketchy shred back to the plaza (there was lightning flashing overhead as we rode) we found out the lifts we shut down.  Makes sense I guess, I mean who wants to get zapped on a chairlift?  So, what better place to hang out than in front of the women's rest room?

If it wasn't for the lightning sending us into the Center I would have never glimpsed the elusive Greater Wasatch Purple Yeti.  Uh, yeah, nice Uggs grandpa

After giving up and buying a 12er, we learned that Peruvian was running again.  Fuck it, stash the beers and lets get a couple more runs!  Danky

Huh, weird.  I thought I was Shawn Boyle?  Oh wait, that's right, I forgot I was Greasy today!  Coiler in line, loving the graupel

Of course when we got done the dicks that drove their 2-wheel drive rigs up the canyon were fucking up the road.  Oh well, circle the wagons, crack a beer and pass the puff.  Danky camped out

If you see these two behind the wheel coming your direction, get the fuck out the way!  I snaked Al and Coiler in line when the traffic started moving.  I made it out pretty unscathed, they got stuck behind a plow truck that slid back down the hill, various 2-wheel stunt drivers and a crashed bus.  Sorry bros!

Ah the wonderful spectacle of pussy drivers, creeping down the hill at less than 10 mph.  Get a clue douchebags.

Well, overall the Butt Slut Hut Tour of '08 was pretty fun.  Collectively I think we lost enough brain cells to make a whole new brain, but that was kinda the point.  I mean, that's what sprin graupel storm days are for, right?  There were a couple more huts that we knew of but hadn't been to in a long time.  Nobody knew for sure if they still stood and we ran out of time to check them out on this day.  Maybe next time....


1 comment:

Forrest said...

Looks like you will never be able to run for political office, wait, just claim you did not inhale.

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